question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
