its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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