I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
