he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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