We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
