people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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