What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
