like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
