I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
