I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
