She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
