I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
