Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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