I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
