We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
