Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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