She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
