I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My balls are so social today.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
