hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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