After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
