She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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