Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
