You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
