We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
