Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
