she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
