Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
