last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
No I am not eating basil off your cock
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
