good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
