Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
