Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
