Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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