I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
