My brain says no but my pants say off.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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