we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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