i was born a porn star she said
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
