Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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