I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
