best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
