If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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