My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Drunk walkin through police station. America
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
