He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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