my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
