Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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