Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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