I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
