yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
