I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
