Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
