What a fucking waste of an outfit
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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