She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize