She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
