i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
