Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize