took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
