Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
