Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he was CRYING into my vagina
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
