she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is Oprah even human
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize