wat bout pragnant strippers??
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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