I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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