and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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