Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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