I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
