is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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