areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
