well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize