My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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